Wednesday, August 18, 2010

You spin my head right round, like a record baby

Yatzee! my head is spinning. So much going on in my head the past couple of weeks, really struggling.

Why is it that all of the best foods are shaped like penises? Popsicles, corn dogs, churros, burritos, hot dogs/brats, bananas. (Well, actually I don't really think any of these foods are the best foods. I just like this line from Superbad)

So today, I'm going to write about a submitted topic: Why don't fish eat/take calcium? Because their bones suck!

Fish bones do suck! They break really easily, very brittle. You would think that something that they eat in the water would make the bones stronger. On the other hand though...if they had thicker bones, they would be heavier and thus make swimming very taxing for their small frames. I think it would be pretty sweet to ride a fish under water. I mean how awesome would it be if you could hold on to a fish's tail and just by holding their tail you grow gills so that you can breathe under water and then they could take you on tours of underwater attractions. (run-on sentence that does not make any logical sense, check.) If that was the case though, the fishs' bones would need to be much stronger to carry around gigantar humans.

I'm going to be done for now...I'm not feeling this post and need to get my head in the right place before I write anything that could be half way amusing.


Sunday, August 1, 2010

Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me

I am a magnet for unavailable men. The most recent addition to the list, married man with wife and child sends me a facebook message with his phone number and this statement: "It's stupid that I'm sending this. If you want to, text me. ASAP. ;)" WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm seriously going to freak out soon if this keeps happening...happy valentines day (sent with a picture of a rose, while laying in bed with his girlfriend)...text message: "a rose for you"(hand drawn and all)... I'm calling you and not my girlfriend while I'm out of town for 6 days and she is mad that I didn't call her...I don't like that guy you're talking to and I don't want you to date him, but I don't want to date you...its seriously been a case of me being that guy and being insensitive and inconsiderate, I just have a lot of family issues I need to sort out before I can start dating you want to go on spring break with me to Oregon? (two weeks later) Oh wait, you can't go, your spring break is a different week than mine (when really it wasn't different and I told him it wasn't different and then he cut all contact with me)...I like you a lot (pause pause pause) but as a friend (that's why I've been spending so much time with you for the past 8 months)... and the list goes on

REALLY??!!!??! Oh well, good thing I move a lot. I did meet this man last night, we'll call him Jason*, he said that even though I'm moving in 3.5 days he wants to hang out and get to know one another. I figure why not hang out and get a few free drinks out of it right?  OR maybe I should hibernate from the dating scene for about another 25 years and then just be a cougar and go after younger men.

I can't believe it! only 3.5 days left in this city :) Excited to see friends and family in just a short week! Sorry for venting in this post, just needed to freak out for  a minute.


*indicates name change to protect identity