Sunday, July 19, 2015

Let's get meaty

I've been thinking about this one for a while now...
Why is "meat" not an option for a flavor when buying ice cream or protein powder (you'd think protein powder would be the perfect product to be flavored as meat). You know meat flavoring is a possibility. I mean, they make meat flavored veggie patties (another thing I'm not sure I understand)

List of things that could be meat flavored
1. envelope glue
2. water
3. soda
4. condoms
5. protein powder
6. pre-workout, for that matter
7. granola bars
8. ice cream
9. chapstick
10. candy, imagine a fried chicken or grilled T-bone flavored jelly bean

I'm sure this list could go on and on...but I'm guessing by now you've caught what I'm throwing out there. With the whole "bacon" craze our country has been going through, I'm surprised more stuff hasn't been meat flavored.

On to the next conundrum, if you don't want to eat meat...why would you want a meat flavored vegetable patty? I guess there are those vegetarians out there that like the taste of meat, but for health reasons don't eat it and therefore eat vegetables steeped in the flavor of (mysterious) meat. But for those who don't eat meat because they don't want to kill animals, it seems like eating a meat flavored veggie patty is like savoring the taste of the dead, cooked animal that you are trying not to kill. Maybe oxymoronic...maybe not? "I love the taste of dead, cooked animals without actually killing them." Weird. You have to wonder do they make meat flavoring without using actual meat? It seems like modern day Willy Wonka shit but the meat flavor is on vegetables instead of candy, and you don't get to experience the whole meal like Violet before she blows up like a blueberry.