Let's get meaty

I've been thinking about this one for a while now...
Why is "meat" not an option for a flavor when buying ice cream or protein powder (you'd think protein powder would be the perfect product to be flavored as meat). You know meat flavoring is a possibility. I mean, they make meat flavored veggie patties (another thing I'm not sure I understand)

List of things that could be meat flavored
1. envelope glue
2. water
3. soda
4. condoms
5. protein powder
6. pre-workout, for that matter
7. granola bars
8. ice cream
9. chapstick
10. candy, imagine a fried chicken or grilled T-bone flavored jelly bean

I'm sure this list could go on and on...but I'm guessing by now you've caught what I'm throwing out there. With the whole "bacon" craze our country has been going through, I'm surprised more stuff hasn't been meat flavored.

On to the next conundrum, if you don't want to eat meat...why would you want a meat flavored vegetable patty? I guess there are those vegetarians out there that like the taste of meat, but for health reasons don't eat it and therefore eat vegetables steeped in the flavor of (mysterious) meat. But for those who don't eat meat because they don't want to kill animals, it seems like eating a meat flavored veggie patty is like savoring the taste of the dead, cooked animal that you are trying not to kill. Maybe oxymoronic...maybe not? "I love the taste of dead, cooked animals without actually killing them." Weird. You have to wonder though...how do they make meat flavoring without using actual meat? It seems like modern day Willy Wonka shit but the meat flavor is on vegetables instead of candy, and you don't get to experience the whole meal like Violet before she blows up like a blueberry.

Time is on my side...yes it is (No it's not...)

How much time is 15 minutes, anyway? Today, I called a patient's assisted living home to schedule an initial visit and the caregiver told me I could only come between 9 and 11 tomorrow. I told her I had another appointment scheduled at 10 across town and asked if I could come at 8:45 instead. OF COURSE, she said "Oh no!!! 8:45 too early!!! How 'bout next week?"

Really??!? is 15 minutes earlier THAT much time?   ...Yep, didn't think so.

In other news, I'm back on facebook---woo  hoo (sense the excitement) Trying to win an ipad. I'm pretty sure that NOTHING else could have brought me back to facebook. Loved being away from the f-book, but alas I'm on until at least labor day.

The topic of the day: Why do people stay in jobs if they hate them?
I recently had to deal with renewing my OT license in the state of Alaska. Let me preface by saying, the application has, in bold letters, that it muse be postmarked by June 30th. Last time I looked at a calendar, it's not yet June 30. So I call this lady just to make sure I will be able to work next week on Wednesday (better late than never) and she cops an attitude with me. I pleasantly pointed out that the application states something about a postmark date and she snips, "well there's another part of the application on the first page that says to allow 3-4 weeks." I'm pretty sure you know how the rest of the conversation went (maybe). If not, I'll tell you now. I nicely said, "well can you post my license by the postmark date?" and she nastily replied, "Only if your application is complete and I won't know that until it comes across my desk." I said, "Well, it's in the mail today so it should be there by tomorrow..." She "politely" cuts me off by sneering, "not necessarily!" I finally just told the biotch that I lived in Anchorage and there is NO way it could take more than 2 days to get to Juneau (SAME STATE, duh!). Anyway, she proceeds to tell me I should take Monday and Tuesday off next week because she does not think she'll be able to get through the 30 applications she has waiting between Wednesday and Monday. PUH-LEASE B! I could probably process 30 applications in about 30 minutes, and I don't even do her job. Bottom line, you know when the busy time of year occurs for your job, mentally prepare for it and stop being such a C. U. Next Tuesday! I may have told other people I'm perfect, but I know FOR SURE I didn't tell her (so she shouldn't expect me to be).

Theme of the week: Apparently, time is not on my side when it comes to occupational therapy business and birds...THE DAMN BIRDS in the courtyard outside my apartment building. I think they are suffering from mania with all the sunlight. They NEVER shut their mouths...squeak squeak, squawk squawk, weeh weeh weeh.

Alright Chealsea is on and I must go to bed soon.

HOLLER.

Pep Boys does everything for less!

AND I'm back...to Alaska and to blogging

I think it's about time I get back into writing. It's been a little over a year since my last post and what a year it has been.

1 new car
1 graduation
1 board exam
3 jobs
6 moves
1 NBA basketball game
1 trip to San Francisco
1 visit to the Redwood Forest
1 boyfriend
2 weddings
1 bachelorette party
1 amusement park
1 horrible break-up
2 concerts
1 sky dive
1 survival of a fall from 14,000ft
5 road trips
1 new graduate school acceptance
etc, etc, etc...

So much has happened this year. Good, bad, awesome, and ugly. I'm in a horrible and good place all at once. I know this blog is normally reserved for the nonsense that occurs in my brain, but I've been feeling like this for a long time...(since July 24th to be exact, with the exception of August 7th)

I hate this. This picture was taken 2 months ago. Why am I still at these feelings with all of the excellent things going on in my life? Maybe it is all of the failed relationships (friendship and the like) that I have had over the years building up and weighing on my heart. I'm tired of being pushed aside, forgotten about. I'm tired of being disrespected and mistreated. I "rejoined" the dating website once I returned to Alaska to try to 'move on' with my life. Unfortunately, I don't want to move forward. I want what I had and I am stuck in purgatory, on earth, because of it. Every person I have encountered have been people that I don't want to have any type of relations with, maybe the people that I would 'click' with can sense my lack of availability.

I'm sorry for the depressing post...but I'm pretty sure that no one ever checks this anymore. Hopefully, writing about this will help me heal. If you are checking this, bear with me...I'm really trying to be happy again, instead of just pretending. It's just so hard...I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss what "could have been." I miss feeling happy and content with my life. I miss feeling sure of myself. I miss the days where someone else's actions did not affect me emotionally. I miss feeling confident. I miss feeling carefree. I miss feeling excitement at seeing someone special. I miss feeling respected and wanted.

I am thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful for my education. I am thankful for having a job, a roof over my head, and food in my fridge. I am thankful for all of the people that have reached out to me to try to make this time of my life a little easier. I am thankful for the time I was able to spend with my sister. I am thankful for my life and my health. I am thankful for my friends, near and far. I am thankful for every day I am given.

All right, that is enough.

HOLLER.

I put the func in function

First, I love when one still has a smile on their face after reading something sweet or talking to someone...it really shows that you are taken by the situation.

Back in Omaha...I'm pretty sure it is this city that sucks the motivation from me. Still working on my evidence table that is due in 8 hours. It's not looking so good.

Enough time wasting---will post soon.

HOLLER.

Here...have an oosik

What is an oosik you ask? It is a walrus baculum (penis bone). Did you know, that people actual buy these from craft shows? HA...strange. What can you do with a walrus penis? Better...What would you do for a walrus penis? Kind of like the jingle "what would you do ooo ooo for a Klondike Bar?"

Wrapping up my stay in AK...Only 1 week left (weird). The time started passing quickly when I decided to join a dating website to fill my extra time. I went on a LOT of dates. Wowwy wee wah. Who knew AK had so many eligible men? And these men are not just run of the mill bottom of the barrel scrapings; they are legitimately decent/awesome guys. Ironically enough, all of the guys I went out with, with the exception of 1, are from the midwest. Why don't they live in the midwest. All the guys in the midwest that I've come across on this website are d-bags to the MAX. Why are the "good" midwestern men moving out of the lower 48? Am I missing something? I have actually contemplated moving to AK for a brief stint after graduation...it is TOTALLY awesome here. So much to see and do.

Graduation...ugh. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than ready to graduate...but what happens after graduation? Again, I'm dragging my heels. I need to make a decision and I just can't. It is such a huge commitment and I'm finding more and more that I am a total phobe of it. On top of my commitment issues are the deep seeded feelings of inadequacy related to joining my profession as an actual occupational therapist...ex: I'll be so unprepared to enter the workforce; why would anyone trust my opinion; there is so much that I don't know; and the list could go on and on...I am ABSOLUTELY terrified that I'll suck at my job when I start; not having a supervisor for the regular checks and balances, totally on my own (freaky).

Okay, that's enough...I took you from walrus peni to fear.

HOLLER.

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? You should try sleeping in my bed...

Alicia Keys and I are on the same page when it comes to her latest album out. Wowza! Seems like every song is speaking to me specifically.

Two weeks into the last rotation and time seems to be creeping along. Would you understand what I meant if I said that the days move so slowly but I feel like I'm reeling, out of control toward the unknown? It feels as if I have been in Alaska for months and it has only been 2 weeks. Maybe that is because I have been holding onto something that I didn't want to lose so tightly that my figurative "heels" have been digging into the ground and keeping me from moving forward. For me, maybe Labor day is not only signifying the end of summer, but also the end of letting things/people hold me back. Even if not, I think I'm going to believe that is the case.

Something completely unrelated but nonetheless something to ponder...why do we call dried grapes raisins but we call all other dried fruit by their name with "dried" in front of it? Like: dried apples, or dried pineapple, dried mangoes...Why are grapes special? Why does their dry counterpart get a separate name? I've been trying to figure this out for the past couple of days, but I cannot come up with a solid reason.

This post is fairly boring so I'll try to liven up the next one.

HOLLER

You spin my head right round, like a record baby

Yatzee! my head is spinning. So much going on in my head the past couple of weeks, really struggling.

Why is it that all of the best foods are shaped like penises? Popsicles, corn dogs, churros, burritos, hot dogs/brats, bananas. (Well, actually I don't really think any of these foods are the best foods. I just like this line from Superbad)

So today, I'm going to write about a submitted topic: Why don't fish eat/take calcium? Because their bones suck!

Fish bones do suck! They break really easily, very brittle. You would think that something that they eat in the water would make the bones stronger. On the other hand though...if they had thicker bones, they would be heavier and thus make swimming very taxing for their small frames. I think it would be pretty sweet to ride a fish under water. I mean how awesome would it be if you could hold on to a fish's tail and just by holding their tail you grow gills so that you can breathe under water and then they could take you on tours of underwater attractions. (run-on sentence that does not make any logical sense, check.) If that was the case though, the fishs' bones would need to be much stronger to carry around gigantar humans.

I'm going to be done for now...I'm not feeling this post and need to get my head in the right place before I write anything that could be half way amusing.

HOLLER.